Here are the Questions to Ask to Get Rid of Your Anxiety

We’ve all had it at one time or another… Anxiety.

Anxiety comes in at different times, and it affects us in many different ways. Sometimes it may come during a public speaking event or when you are to introduce yourself to someone new. This is completely normal. The problem comes in when the anxiety paralyzes us or when we start feeling bad about our situations or where we are currently standing.

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Have Anxiety?

Listen to this week’s episode (below) to know what questions to ask to identify what is causing it and what to do next.

Then download the one sheet for the one-sheet for you to answer the questions.

In this episode, we explore the questions to ask to uncover what is causing the anxiety and how to get rid of it.

Listen now! 💋

The Questions to Ask to Unlock Discipline

Listen to this weeks podcast on Discipline!

A while back I received a comment to one of my Instagram posts about embracing change. The comment made me ponder about the word discipline. The commentator, who was not a follower, and just liked the picture said, “ You seem like pretty cool but know that it takes discipline.” I told her thanks and went on my merry way.

But the comment kept popping in my head. Because after reading it, it seemed more like a direct jab at me and not about how it takes discipline to embrace change (which it does) like I thought she meant at first. Was she trying to tell me that I needed discipline? I still disregarded it because I quickly realized that it was more her biased perception of what she deemed important. Instagram posting not as important to me as it was to her (peeped her account to understand more about her). Funny how we get judged by others based on what they feel should be important to us vs. what is really reality for us.

Four months forward, I got certified through Breath 4 Change Wellness & Yoga Teacher Training and there we learned about the 5 Niyamas - the 5 Principles of Life. We learned that to reach enlightenment everyone is to practice the Niyamas and the Yamas. Tapas- burning discipline is the 3rd principle and helps us with consistently take action in our every day lives.

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Get Your Free E-Book

on Questions to to Ask to unlock your discipline with all the questions you need to start working on your discipline today!

Then during one of the activities, I was to pick a piece of paper from a bowl, I was to act it out on and everyone else was to determine what it was based on my actions. It read- “Tapas- Burning Discipline.” Then that night Mami told me… “I think your kids are amazing but they still need a bit more discipline.”

I was like, ok Gd, I hear you loud and clear. Because as I always say… Gd speaks to you in different ways.

So I researched the definition:

Discipline-

1. the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience

2. the controlled behavior resulting from discipline

3. activity or experience that provides mental or physical training

4. a branch of knowledge, typically one studied in higher education

5. punish or rebuke (someone) formally for an offense

6. train oneself to do something in a controlled and habitual way

When a word has more than one definition that means that it has evolved throughout the years and its true meaning had been changed or adapted with time. Sadly, the true meaning of “discipline” means to control, obey rules, and punishment (if you don’t obey the rules, punishment will be provided). It has nothing to do with being consistent with the actions we do, until definition #6 (which was adapted way into late 1900s).

After reading this, I asked myself “am I not discipline enough?”

Well, yes.. to an extent.

I am discipline to start something and finishing something (hence why I did I am good at my profession), but to the things that are long term and beneficial to me… honestly, no. I would start a working out routine and then 3 months into it “because one of the kids went in my bed and threw my sleep off,” I get off the plan.

Thankfully, I was able to recognize this about myself. But I also know and learned that saying to have discipline and keeping the discipline is not as easy as we make it out to be (if not everyone would stay discipline even on the things they like doing).

Discipline is harder to achieve because not only are we drawn to instant gratification, but also discipline is an extrinsic action. I am doing X because I am getting Y. Usually it doesn’t come from internal reasons. Think about it - you are losing weight because a jean didn’t fit, or someone made a comment, or your cousin is getting all the attention because she lost the weight. Rarely do I hear someone say, I’m losing weight because I know and feel that I’m unhealthy (and truly mean it).

The good thing though is that we have other things in our toolbox that if we couple it with disciple provides us with the secret sauce of maintaining our discipline going and never breaking it.

What are those things that we have in our arsenal but rarely think we need when it comes to discipline? Determination, Persistence and Driven. When we include that into the mixed we immediately make discipline possible. Why? Because determination, persistency, and driven attributes come from within. These attributes allow you to truly understand that in order to have discipline I must be determined to do and take an action regardless of what may come, driven enough to care for my why am I doing it, and persistent enough to keep at it.

Why Drive + Determination + Persistence = Iron Clad Discipline of actions that keep going and going and going

Now, how do we tap into drive, determination and persistence? First, we have to understand that we all have these attributes we just turn it on differently. For some, it may be a big milestone in life, for others it may be a crises, but the most effective method is reflecting on what is going - dissecting the truth of why the discipline is not working.

Listen to this episode and download the E-book to learn the best questions to ask to unlock your discipline and tap into other characteristics of yourself to keep your discipline going.

And by the way, I would love to hear how you tap into discipline muscle! Let’s get together via Instagram DM - @Claramazing.

I love to hear from you! 💋
























Want More Self- Love? Use Your Calendar This Way

“Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. ”
– M. Scott Peck

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Questions to Ask

to structure your day with Self-Love

We all struggle with caring and self-loving ourselves. It’s not because we are bad people, it’s more because we are human beings that over rationalize everything we see and infuse self-doubt and false stories about what is happening around our lives.

In this episode, I discuss a simple calendar strategy that you can use to infuse more self-love into your life. I also provide you with the questions to ask to truly make this strategy work for you.

Listen in!

💋

And after listening to this episode, watch the video below to get a visual guide on how to audit your calendar, click on the image below to watch the video!

The Power Of Being You

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The Power of Being You

Questions to Ask to Start Celebrating Yourself

I am a strong believer in self-help. I do it all the time and have guided myself throughout my journey with the understanding of helping or “fixing” myself to “become a better person.”

However, as time has passed by and I’ve gotten wiser, I’ve realized that I don’t have to fix myself to “become a better person.” In reality what I have to do is quite the opposite - to start accepting myself (some call it embracing your authenticity- although there are many description of what authenticity truly means- more on that in another episode).

But by accepting myself - my foundation of who I am (with my flaws, my mistakes, my quirks, etc), of who Gd made me to be, I am unlocking my power and truly starting to become a better version of me (instead of what I think should be me).

You see, when we are on a “fixing” journey, we do it with the intention of changing ourselves and what we think should be our true self. Mind you we do this through someone else’s journey and many external input, which most of the time may not be the best for us.

In this episode I am discussing the power of being my (your) raw self. I also provide the questions to ask to truly start celebrating yourself vs. fixing yourself.

I hope you enjoy it!!!

And after listening to this episode, don’t forget to let us know what you think or any questions you may have.

Questions to Ask Your Pre-Teen to Connect & Feel Heard

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Connect with Your Pre-Teen!

Here are the questions to ask to connect with your pre-teen or teen and make them feel heard! Straight from a Pre-Teen!

I had the pleasure of interviewing my son, Adrian. He is 12 years old and is wise beyond his years. With his help and guidance we dive into the questions to ask any pre-teen in order to make them feel heard and empowered.

It was a fun interview and not only did he provide questions, but he also provides ways to truly listen and connect with your pre-teen (because as we all know it is not easy at times).

Listen in and enjoy every minute of it!

And as always here is the one sheet on the questions that you should ask your pre-teen.


Xo,

💋

Clara

Dorkys Ramos - The Questions to Ask To Persevere & Refocus

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I had the pleasure of interviewing Dorkys Ramos, an illustrator, editor and CEO of Porcupine Hugs, for InspirationaLatinos podcast. Her story is one which everyone should hear and because of this I excerpted some of the interview for you all to hear in Questions to Ask podcast.

Two weeks before being diagnosed with breast cancer, she launched Porcupine Hugs, a stationery company, with the full purpose of making people smile. Unbeknownst to her, not only was she destined to make people smile, but she is teaching them to live their lives to the fullest and not to let anything determine their destiny.

What drives her? Her M.O. of seeing the light in everything. Thanks to it, she has been able to live with breast cancer for the past 6+ years and not let it define her. She has gone through ups and downs, but through it all, she has persevere and always managed to refocus on her endeavors and passions. She keeps going.

In this interview she helps us learn the questions to ask when we are faced with adversity and how we should move forward in refocusing our life one step at a time.

She is truly an inspiration to us all.

And if you are curious to know what are the questions, here is a pdf to take with you (or click below for it).

Xo,

💋

Clara


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Questions

to Ask

To Refocus and Persevere





How to Know You Are Walking Your Own Path?

No matter what journey you are currently at make sure that you have chosen it and it’s yours alone.

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Let go of the other paths that you see everywhere else, or the ones that people encourage you to go through.

You are the master (along w/ Gds grace) of where you are going, and path. 

And if you are stuck and saying, I don’t know where to go next or what is my path, ask these questions to get unstuck:

 

1) What is the one thing that makes my heart skip beyond my family and friends? 

2) Imagine you are rich and have unlimited resources- what is the perfect day for me? What am I doing? Who am I with? And why?  

3)  What is the one job/ thing that I will not get tired of doing even if I am 75 years old?

I know for sure, right now, that this is what will make me get up from bed with a smile at 75 years old.

Asking these questions will give you a glimpse of the path you are to take and one that will fulfill you no matter what may come your way.  

Also, keep in mind that there is no right or wrong answer. All answers are correct because they are truly yours, and only you have the key to unlock the door of your path.

💋

xoxoxo, 

Clara  

Dear 30 Year Old....

Dear 30 Year Old Self, 

In about a month, you will be turning 40. Wow! THE BIG 4.0.

Can you believe it? Because I can’t!

I like you thought that it was a long way coming (actually an eternity) and here it is. In your face, telling you to open up your arms wide with a smile. 

But here is the thing.

You won’t.

Because no matter how much you try to spin this to be a glorious year to come (although it is), what is scaring you most is the reality that 10 years go fast. Really fast. And that means that 50 is right around the corner.

And you are asking yourself - what is next?

You see for a long time, you have had a really hard time knowing what you wanted to do. And although you have dreams and deep down know what will make you happy, you conditioned yourself to believe that it is not important.

Quite honestly you are AFRAID of it.

Of what your happiness may bring you…

Of how it may transform you to be…

But you see… Fear is keeping you from enjoying one of the most transformational years of your life. Fear is keeping you from sleeping sound at sleep because you are allowing all the world’s expectations to seep in.

I know that you recently read somewhere that at the age of 50, most people start discovering themselves, their passion and turbo charge their giving. 

I know when you read it, you felt even more afraid of what may come.

But here is the truth…a fact… some of us don’t even get the chance to live to 50 let alone 40.

And yes, it is sad that most people wait until 50 to start enjoying their lives. But, I promise you, don’t be afraid because soon enough you will understand that turning 40 is a gift from GD (and hopefully he gives you 50+ years more).

So don’t be afraid to allow yourself to be happy. Don’t be afraid to no longer go after what everyone wants you do to because you want to “prove them wrong.” And don’t waste your 39th year worrying about your should ofs and could ofs. Because you will soon see that it was a complete waste of time.

I promise you.

Instead, remember the following (please draw it in your to do list with a sharpie and read it over every single day)-

  1. Enjoy every minute and challenge thrown at you. You will succeed and over deliver as you always have. Say yes more often than no.

  2. Believe in you. You have everything you need within you.

  3. Your body will keep score but you will transcend from it.

  4. Don’t dim your light or smile because others are uncomfortable with what they see.

  5. You are exactly where you need to be. Trust me.

  6. Don’t stay late at your job. Go home on time.  Many a times you will stay late thinking that someone will notice or that your sacrifices will take you to the next level. Nope, Negativo.com. Use this time for you… and only you and your dreams.

  7. Stop being the hamster in the wheel thinking that you are accomplishing the important work. Actually it’s someone else’s important work. Take control over your important work.

  8. Trust Your Gut… it will take you further than you ever imagine

    1. Even when your husband or trusted friends don’t see your vision - go for it.

  9. Allow yourself to truly allow the answers to “What will make you happy?” emerge. Once you do, no one, and I mean no one will be able to steer you away from your true path.

  10. The kids will be ok. I promise. They are resilient beyond your imagination.

    1. And yes, you are blessed to have 4 kids.

  11. Accept that sometimes people will not have empathy and its not your job to teach it. Your strongest self will egg you to walk away and this is the correct action. Take it sooner rather than later.

  12. It’s ok to believe in the Buddhist principles and still be a Christian. After all, you are a Buddhist Christian. Your Divine is Gd and no one can take that away from you.

  13. Self-Care and having fun (playfulness) is important. It’s not evil, or bad. Do it more often than not.

  14. It’s ok to cry and be vulnerable. Control is bulls*&t and someone else’s agenda.

  15. It’s ok to connect and allow love to flow through your veins and into your universe. You are worthy (even when others make you feel otherwise).

  16. People do want to know who you are, what you stand for, and what you want to accomplish so allow yourself to show it.

  17. I know you love change because its quite exhilirating. But allow consistency to take hold at times.


    Love you always,

    You at 40 years old. 💋

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What Are You Willing To Do?

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We all have dreams and aspirations. We all have opportunities and setbacks. But the one thing that sets some people apart is their willingness to do whatever it takes to do what they dream of or want.


Without willingness to give it your all, to keep going, and to sacrifice, your dreams and aspirations will never evolve. They will only be dreams and aspirations in their simplest forms.


Willingness is a concept that we do not speak of often. Usually we are told or speak about “Just do it.”


But never are we asked -

1. “what are you willing to give up to make your dream happen?”


2. “What are you willing to do to keep going?”


3. “What are you willing to endure to reach it?”


And these questions are paramount in how we go about “just doing it.”

Because at the end of it all, if we do not determine the answer to these and are not willing to sacrifice and to keep going regardless of the obstacles, of what people say, and of life - we will be “just doing.”


We will be doing, reach a certain level, give up, and then realize “Damn, all this time vested. This was not for me.”


So before you go ahead and just do it, ask yourself these questions so that you know if this is the path to take or the dream to pursue.

Because time is one of the most precious, valuable assets we have. We don’t get it back. Use it wisely.

💋

Excerpted from “Questions To Ask” Podcast and inspired by Indra Nooyi’s interview Women in the World Summit.

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How to Embrace Change

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Whether you like it or not, change is constant, inevitable and certain.

It is the one thing that you can rely on.

Many people are afraid of change
because of the unknown it brings
because of how hard it can be
because of how much it can make us realize who we truly are. 

But change, although scary, can be an exhilarating, life-altering catalyst.  Without it, we will stay stagnant and not be able to survive.

Think about it… Change is the foundation of evolution, industrious advancements, revolutions, and everything that the we stand on & for.  

So how do you embrace it, and make peace with it?

By challenging the very thought of how you view change. By making it your BFF. Your everyday way of living.

When you see changes happening, move towards them - not against them. Allow it to happen with open arms by telling yourself:

" I'm ready for what may come. It’s going to be good. I will learn and grow from this."   

By making this simple statement, you are changing your mindset and embracing change as a positive.

To put into perspective, let’s say that you are dealing with downsizing at work or you have a new boss with new strategies and vision.

Instead of fighting it and going into this negative tailspin of why this is not good for you or the company (which at the end will not get you anywhere, except being bitter and perhaps having to leave), allow yourself to feel scared at that moment, to ask the questions that you need to ask to understand the situation fully and as objectively as possible, and then tell yourself,

Ok. This may be a new way of doing things,I'm ready for what may come.  I will learn and grow from this, and I know, it’s going to be good".”

Try something that scares you everyday. 

Eleanor T. Roosevelt was right: by doing one thing everyday that scares you or is new, you will be more apt to the changes in your lives. Your brain will understand that change is a friend. It will not resist it as much or have a problem with anything that may come and is different. It will accept it as its normal.

And don’t think that the changes have to be big.  No.  They can be as small as walking through a different route each morning, or as risk taking as bunjee jumping once a month. 

Prepare yourself for any challenges that may come.

Where there is change, there are challenges. To prepare and feel at ease with what may come, prepare yourself with

-a career coach that will hold you accountable in staying positive

-go back to school, or read up on what you need to know about what is to come

-build a network of support in which you can vent to and discuss any gripes you may have (but keep it to a minimum of 1 per week) and then let it go as soon as you say it.

By doing these simple strategies you’ll be able to embrace your inner change master and make it your friend. 


XOXO,
Clara 

 

Change is my friend.