1 day Passed & I Already Failed My "100 Articles in 100 Days" Challenge
Two days ago I declare to the world (well, technically the World of Medium) that I was going to commit to 100 articles in 100 days.
And the first day, which was yesterday, came and I did not write an article.
Insert sad & frustrated face & the feeling of major fail.
And you may say, well it’s only been one day missed. But I know that I failed because my one determining factor of success was not skipping a day. It wasn’t much of an expectation or this grandiose goal, except show up and write about anything that tickled my fancy.
Simple.
The entire day yesterday, however, I found every excuse in the book. During the day, my brain was telling me that I needed to write the article but I kept replying,
“I have time.”
“I have to do X before the article.”
“I will do it later.”
until 10:41 p.m. last night when I finally downloaded Medium’s app - because at the time I was on my bed - that I started to put my hands on the keyboard and “started” to write the article. Of course, I fell asleep midway writing the title.
And now as I’m sitting down in front of my computer, and sipping on my honey almond oat milk latte, contemplating on yesterday and what I did and did not do- “why did I allow my syndrome of coming-to-age angst writing” get the best of me? I learned that potentially I might have started this all wrong from the get-go. I also learned some things about myself and the real reason why I have trouble with consistency.
Lesson Number 1: Be Honest & Compassionate
I need to accept reality. I need to accept my truth. Just like the 12 steps of AA tells you (or any steps program really) that we must face our reality and be honest with ourselves. This way we may no longer stay in our shadows and allow them to keep us in denial. I must do the same.
Here is my truth:
I basically self-sabotage myself purposely. Throughout the day, I could have written the article since I did have the Medium app open, but I allowed my “reasons” to deter me from writing it since I am afraid of what people think. Of how they may perceive me. I am, after all, a softee (despite my every action to show the world otherwise). I do care for people to a detriment. And, although I was calling it a syndrome and not fear, it is fear. I was (and still am) afraid that I would not portray my real writing capabilities or say the wrong thing. I have to own that.
And when I feel the anxiety bubbling up when I am about to write and post… I must be compassionate with myself and say, “It’s ok. I am afraid, but as much as there maybe people who may not like it, there will be people who may need to hear this too even more.”
Lesson Number 2: Be Nimble
I woke up late instead of waking up at 6 am. Therefore that threw me completely off. I woke up late because the night before I couldn't sleep- one of my sciatic nerves was acting up. Because of this I told myself, I already did not meet 6 am, it can then wait. But again this is an excuse because the nerve wasn’t affecting my ability to write. I just used it as a scapegoat since I woke up late.
Therefore, to avoid this rigidity, I will be more nimble with planning this challenge throughout my day. I will take the challenge one day at a time. Instead of declaring that I will write an article at 6 am, I will see what is going on for that day and determine “at what time does it make the most sense to tackle this challenge today? What would work best?” Then schedule it.
As a mom of 4 and with high demands, this frame of mind would allow me to stop the poor excuses, have a set plan, and execute it based on what I can do that day.
Which brings me to my mindset towards this challenge, I was focusing on it as a whole rather than the small steps.I was focusing on the end result - finishing the challenge rather than the steps before it. In order to keep it going, I have to look at each article as a stepping stone to the next.
Lesson Number 3: I need a clearer plan
As I mentioned, I didn’t have a clear-cut plan of what I was going to write. Although I had a list of topics already created, those topics weren’t “speaking to me” yesterday. I thought that if I read an article or saw a video or spoke to someone, I was going to be inspired to write about what I experienced. Bad thought.
Evidently, I created writer’s block. Nothing was coming to me which made it so easy for me to create excuses to not write the article.
Moving forward, though, I will start off with writing about money psychology/career, & wellness. Then as I get more comfortable, I will write about other topics. I started a Notion content calendar so that it keeps me on course.
Lesson Number 4: My why has to be Intrinsic
Talk to any productivity or behavioral guru and they will tell you it’s all about the WHY. Even Oprah says it’s the intention that you bring into anything you do that will make a difference and will keep on course.
I forgot this very rule.
I forgot that I have to be intentional of why I’m doing this and it has to be bigger than me in order for me to deem it important. In which this is where the consistency lesson comes in.
I don’t have a problem with being consistent as long as I deem what I am doing IMPORTANT. Meaning I have to label and call it important. If I merely say its not that important by passing, I will break the pattern or do things here and there.
This is why I don’t do well in posting everyday on social media (and honestly don’t think that obsessing over posting content everyday is really serving you but the app). I don’t deem being on social, my every waking hour important. I believe there is a value to it for sure (especially if you have a business or looking for a job) but IMPORTANT, nah. Which is why I have presence on it, but I don’t live on it.
Before yesterday, I said that my why was proving my husband and myself that I can. But honestly, that is not a good enough of a why. It’s maybe 25% good since at least I put myself in it.
My why should be something that meets an intrinsic value. Like I mentioned in my Questions to ask Podcast episode on discipline, I forgot the very idea that if my intrinsic value is not met, I will not keep my discipline.
So my true why is - I want to become a better writer so that I can impact greater change with my writing. As my Ikigai dictates, I want to impact & ignite change through my storytelling. So sticking to my 100 articles in 100 days is the first small step.
Those are the lessons that I learned thus far. I’m sure through this process I will learn more. I can’t wait to share it with you!
Wishing myself good luck and cheers to tomorrow.
xo,
Clara